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@ Heather:

quote: What's the 'wing' bit, is that where I've got so/sp/sx?

Okay ... Each enneagram type (number) has two adjacent numbers which are its "wings" (for example: 5 = wings 4 and 6). There are people who "lean" on one of the wings, for example, a 5 could have strong traits of enneagram style 4 as well, or of enneagram style 6. Some people mainly live their core energy, so they have no wings, some lean on both wings ... The enneagram experts are very divided on this subject ... But you read a lot about "5s with a 4 wing" being a bit different from "5s with a 6 wing" ... The wings are commonly denoted like this: 5w6, 2w3 etc.

So that´s why I said I was a 6 with a 5 wing in my opinion I like 5s very much and I understand them very well, that´s probably because I´m quite "5-ish" myself, I also think my brother is a 5.

The "so/sx/sp" you mentioned stands for "social/sexual/self-preservation" ... These are not wings, but variations of your main enneagram style ... I think they are called instinctive variants. Some people are more socially orientated, others are one-on-one people ("sexual"), others are mainly concerned with self-preservation. It´s said that one of these instincts is domineering in a person, the other two are weaker. I would say that my social instinct comes last, as I´m not a group person and not very much concerned with my standing in society either. I´d say I´m a self-preservation 6 variant - these sixes use warmth when they approach others, so they can come across a bit like twos, but with the six, the warmth originates in fear ("If I´m nice, nobody will harm me"). The instinctive variant also applies to the wing (if a person has one) - self-preservation fives are "my home is my castle" people, also very true for me. A sexual six, on the other hand, would concentrate on being either beautiful or strong ... Different from my variant.

You see how complex the enneagram is, that´s why I find it so utterly fascinating. There are much finer distinctions than just being a 6 ... there´s the wing and the instinctive variants as well. KNOW THYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The things I just mentioned are all explained in the book I mentioned above (by Riso / Hudson).

Christ, I hope I explained this okay, my English felt pushed to its very limits!!!