of the Moon beam
in a frigid still.
On a quietening Earth
the light touches down
nestling in the air,
The aged man
unfolds a nuptial memory
and lays it by the bed.
A girl at brink of womanhood
The hills and rills of the Moon
June 8th 2009

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Diamond Rose |
The Night of the Moon |
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The hills and rills
of the Moon beam in a frigid still.
The ravenous asphalt
consumes the spotless light,
and yet redeems its stony heart.
On a quietening Earth the light touches down nestling in the air,
and pastes the trees with milk.
With saucer eyes the animals
lap up the stillborn dawn,
as in the magic hour.
The aged man
alone within his grief
unfolds a nuptial memory and lays it by the bed.
It shimmers from the moonlit night
that melts away the years
and cloaks him in a lazy tenderness.
A girl at brink of womanhood
sighs herself to sleep
from pangs of feckless love.
The moonlight through the open blind
transforms the vestiges of childish things
to shadow dancers on her wall.
The hills and rills of the Moon
stand frozen by the light.
It knows too well the magic it unpeels
to boast to fulsome stars.
Content within its ashen sleep
while dreaming of the Sun.
June 8th 2009
Last Edited By: Diamond Rose 9 Jun, 2009 8:57 AM.
Edited 1 time.
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ophelia28 |
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Your muse is back?
Wow, fabulous poem!! Excellent structure - I really like the way it progresses from trees and animals to an aged man to a young woman, back to the Moon itself. Wonderful writing.
The last stanza is my favourite, you have a knack for great endings.
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Diamond Rose |
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Thanks, Cass!
It's an example of the sort of I thing I write at 2am on a public holiday. I wish there were more public holidays ~ Bruce |
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Julia333 |
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Bruce, you're a genius! That's a work of art!
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ophelia28 |
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Diamond Rose wrote: Written just so, at 2 am? I´m thinking of Coleridge now, from
Pandaemonium.
There should definitely be more public holidays in Australia!!!
A tiny nit, btw, I´m sorry, I can´t help noticing these things: It must be "a frigid still", not "an". You probably had another adjective, starting with a vowel, before "frigid" in an earlier version?
Last Edited By: ophelia28
8 Jun, 2009 8:34 PM.
Edited 1 times.
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VirgoAnnie |
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Another fantastic poem. I'm envious of all you poets. I wouldn't have a clue how to start one.
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Julia333 |
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in an frigid still I took it as a typo as I know Bruce's grammar is far to good to have thought 'an' was okay, but I'll bet your guess is right, Cass |
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ophelia28 |
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"Grammar Nazi" kills me every time.
I think I heard the expression first from Stephen, who said it about himself.
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Diamond Rose |
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You probably had another adjective, starting with a vowel, before "frigid" in an earlier version? - Cass
Thanks for the kind words, Julia & Annie ~ Bruce
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Alvida |
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ophelia28 wrote:Me too. Another beautiful poem from you, Bruce.
I like the second verse especially, this line in particular is sumptuous - and pastes the trees with milk Glad the muse came calling.
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Diamond Rose |
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Thank you, Heather
If you and Cass haven't seen Pandaemonium yet, then.. why not? ~ Bruce |
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Alvida |
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Diamond Rose wrote:You forgot this > < bossy boots.
It's not easy to get hold of sadly, they only have it on reserve on my dvd rental and on amazon the price varies from £20-£50. I'll have to see
if the entire film is on youtube...
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Propaganster |
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I like this piece a lot, it has a storytlling approach, so it flows amazingly well, and the images you use are beaytiful - great symbolism. I like how the feel
of the natural events is so in tune in many ways with what the characters are thinking and sensing.
It has a classic touch, because I can, in my mind, hear the piece as if it was sung, and really, all poetry is meant to be sung. |
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Diamond Rose |
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Alvida wrote: No, it's not on youtube. I picked it up much cheaper than that at ezydvd (no longer available there). You'll have to reserve it. One of my nicknames is 'boss', btw Thanks, Propaganster. The flow is because of the metre; irregular lines of iambs. ~ Bruce |
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Gawayne7 |
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Love your use of words-its very effective.
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