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 Diamond Rose |
It |
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Posts: 2219 (15 Jun, 2009 2:17 PM) Rebel Angel |
A thought once popped into my head
and loitered for awhile.
It must have come in through an ear
whilst I was otherwise engaged by tongues.
It liked the look of its new home
and stayed around to decorate.
It lit a candle for itself
and sang a hymn to its significance.
It dressed itself with my discarded clothes
and stole my name away.
15~06~09 Decastich |
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ophelia28 |
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Posts: 15620 (15 Jun, 2009 9:32 PM) Ardent Anglophile
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 Now this is a really cool poem, Bruce, if I may say though - I don´t know whether it was intended to be, but it definitely is ... cool.
It dressed itself with my discarded clothes
and stole my name away.
You know that "whilst I was otherwise engaged by tongues" plus the "discarded clothes" scream for yet another Freudian reading, right?  Oh wait, I only do those with Ern´s poems ... so I beg your pardon.
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Diamond Rose |
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Posts: 2225 (16 Jun, 2009 3:47 AM) Rebel Angel |
Everything I do is always intended to be cool
Freud is too busy analysing the 'Rachel Ward's Acting Tips' in the Entertainment forum to worry about this poem yet
Thanks, Cass! ~ Bruce |
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 Alvida |
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Posts: 8136 (25 Jun, 2009 11:45 PM) Alvida |
Intriguing poem, Bruce. It kind of has a humourous and fun air about it. It's about the muse?
But then these lines make me wonder if it's about something different, something darker:
and stole my name away.
It dressed itself with my discarded clothes Something about this concept makes me think of Golyadkin's plight in The Double. So as I say very intriguing, I like it, good stuff, Bruce. 
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Propaganster |
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Posts: 343 (27 Jun, 2009 1:47 PM) Citizen from Future Obsolete |
It's odd how I could read the poem in a manner similar to Heather's (a muse's voice) but this is not what most immediatly sprung to my mind - I saw
it as a poem which, in many regards, could be about schizophrenia; and I appeciated that it gave this condition a more humane face (or perhaps voice here).
stole my name away is the line that made me think of schizophrenia the moment I reached it, along with the fact that while it is quite concise and well structured, giving it an appearance of coherence, the lines are fairly loosely connected and there is a break of thought and pattern from the third (It must have come in through an ear) and 4th (whilst I was otherwise engaged by tongues.) Between these two lines, the poem moves from descritpive to affirmative and from neutral, if you will, to personal (only to go back to the neutral, descriptive style afterwards). The last line breaks the thought in a similar fashion with the few lines that precede it. The repetition of "it" is another element that struck me. It certainly has your usual flow and it is rather easy to read. Good work. |
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Alvida |
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Posts: 8159 (27 Jun, 2009 4:30 PM) Alvida |
I saw that too, which is what I meant by something darker - The Double seems to be about schizophrena.
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Helen Bywater |
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Registered Member
Posts: 4 (17 Jul, 2009 7:43 PM) |
Interesting poem. I like it.
I didn't think of a muse, or of schizophrenia, but of the unconscious, or the subconscious - the assumptions that we have deep down, based on thoughts we were fed as children. We don't realise they're there hovering in the background, governing us, until something happens that cracks our facade and makes us aware of them. That's what I thought it might be about. |
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AutumnHarmony |
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Posts: 725 (26 Oct, 2009 4:20 PM) Brighter than Sunshine |
This seems classic & whimsical.. I like!!
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